Jameson Irish whiskey bottle chandelier in the lobby. Be prepared to be stuck in the lobby with a horde of other tourists waiting your turn to enter tourism gloom!
The Old Jameson Distillery, Dublin IRELAND

I thought it only fair that since I posted about my visit to the Guinness Storehouse, I should also post about my visit (imprisonment?) to The Old Jameson Distillery. I’m glad that we hit them on consecutive days because it gave me clear perspective on what makes a great tour! And then there’s Jameson…

Tour sign as you approach the distillery. If you’re on this street and see this sign, I suggest you turn around and walk away. Don’t waste your money. No, fo’ real!

The mark of a great tour experience is coming out of it happy and having learned something. I did NOT come out of the Jameson tour feeling happy in the least, and all I learned was that the Jameson Company has perfected the art of shoving propagada down your throat!

The tour at The Old Jameson Distillery is guided and you’re placed into a large group with a tour guide. You’re first made to watch a video reenactment which turns out to be just a long, blatant Jameson commercial! Then the walking portion begins through the cheesy displays in cramped rooms. I’m sure that our group size far exceeded the occupancy limit in the TINY display rooms they paraded us through, and it made it difficult to hear the droning rehearsed script complete with tired jokes that the bored tour guide recites. Don’t be the last person into the next room or you’ll be pressed against the back wall and unable to hear or see anything!

An example of the cheesy miniatures! The rooms are SO small that I understand why they had to miniaturize the displays. I just wish they would have done a better job. This guys is totally misproportioned! The rooms are also VERY dark.

Yet another miniaturized display, this time of the mashing process in a mash tun! The amount of time you spend in each room seems to be timed so don’t dilly-dally! It’s pretty much limited to the time your guide can regurgitate the script so there’s NO additional time to look around at the displays (which is probably a good thing). They also close the door from the previous room so don’t get separated from your cell mates!

Wooden washback where fermentation happens! Don’t think I actually learned this information on the tour, I’m having to look up the distilling process on the internet so I can write this post. Here are some things that I DID learn on the tour (probably not accurately): the distillery is full of drunken angels, it’s pronounced JAM-eson, you don’t want to be late to work or you’ll end up looking like a tattered angel, Mr. Jameson is very elusive, and stuffed cats are SCARY!

Feints Still, Jameson whiskey is triple-distilled y’all! You can thank the drunken angels when you see this room because the torture is ALMOST over! But not before they squeeze you in yet another cramped room where they have one last chance to sell you an over-priced, limited edition! Wow! Then there’s the final video with a SPECIAL surprise at the end. Um, it’s not REALLY a surprise when you can see through the glass and see the tasting room on the other side.

I was so pissed and annoyed after the tour that I couldn’t even enjoy the tasting. And don’t think that it’s a fun, relaxing, take-your-time kind of tasting. Oh no, Jameson somehow finds a way to ruin the tasting portion too! You’re forced to sit in a specified area where you have to continue listening to your guide as they try to convince you that Jameson is the best whiskey in the world.

I’d have to say that I wouldn’t recommend The Old Jameson Distillery tour…